I'm an old lady

I have long been an old lady at heart. I mean, I like crossword puzzles and cross-stiching. Loud music makes me irritable. I don't really like going out. I love my cats. I like watching shows like Matlock and Colombo. Now my body is starting to be convinced that I'm an old lady, too. My wrists hurt, now, when I'm cross-stiching, when I'm opening jars, and increasingly when I do things like turn door knobs or open medicine bottles. I'm going to start having to get the non-child friendly caps. My bones crack and pop half the time when I stand up or bend over. Plus, the last time I went to the doctor, they said I shrank an inch. I don't really believe them, but then I start to doubt myself. I think... I must be deluding myself. How likely is it that a doctor office would have a broken measuring contraption? If I've already shrunk an inch, how many more are to go? By the time I'm 80, I'll be 2'3".

Oh, and I almost forgot about the non-senile dementia. I forget things all the time. Just so you know, I really did almost forget about my memory problems. That wasn't an attempt to be clever. I was thinking, "There's some other way I'm an old lady.... hmmm... what was it again?" Sometimes when I try to talk to people at the grocery store, I can tell they think there is something really wrong with me. I'm miming out "bag" because I can't think of the word. They smile at me the way they do at old ladies, acting like I'd dotty. I get things mixed up in my head, too. Like, the other day I tried to say that today 1 in 5 boys have autism. It's actually something more like 1 in 175, or something. I can't remember. It's definitely not 1 in 5. Common sense should have stopped me before those words even left my mouth. But common sense has left my brain. I worry. This is not some sort of normal progression. There has been a marked decrease in my brain activity. Again, I ask, what will happen by the time I'm 80! Some doctor needs to diagnose me with old ladyitis. I'm sure that I have an actual disorder. The good(!) news is that I still look like I'm 12.

The Much Anticipated Sequel to Plants

So, I"m finally getting around to filling you in on the fate of my plants. The problem was that I would take pictures, but by the time I got them on my computer they were old and I felt like I had to take new pictures. Below I have some compilation pictures of my tomato plants, which are the biggest thing I got growing.



Here you can see the progression over time of my Roma tomato plant. I have had two tomatoes come to fruition. They weren't the tastiest or biggest tomatoes ever, but they were my totally indoor tomato experiment.

This is a progression of my beefsteak tomato plant. So far, it has only had one flower, but it keeps on getting TALLER. I'll have to put it outside soon, because it is almost touching the ceiling.



Here are a few of my other plants. These aren't the newest pictures, but they are clearer than the newer ones and are fairly representative. All my original plants are still alive. The catnip survived mostly due to complete disinterest by the cats. I broke off a branch one day and left it on the floor and they literally acted frightened of it. The plant that faired the worst was the Morning Glory, which I put outside. This brings me to my biggest plant realization, I am much better with indoor plants than outdoor plants. Witness the below Sunflower. We started it from seeds after my first plant post.

So, you can see, the first plant to die had not even been born when I asked my question. Trippy, eh?

Library life

Here is cute note we got in the mail at the library. Apparently, the little boy saw other people picking up books and walking out with them, so he thought he would do the same. His mom made him send us his allowance. Even though I know he was forced to write a letter, it still strikes me as really sweet.

On the not so sweet end of my job, lately we have had several older gentlemen looking at inappropriate things on our computers. Our policy is to give one warning, in which we warn the offender that they are in violation of our computer use policy and that if they repeat the offense, we will file a no trespassing report against them with the police department. Today, there was an offender on the computer. Normally, when they sense someone walking up behind them, they close their window really quickly. This guy left it open while I walked up. It was about 10 pictures, so you know, even more images to be seared onto my brain. Even as I told the guy he couldn't have that stuff up in the library, he didn't close the window. So, in my flustered state, I didn't actually say "if you do it again, we'll ban you from the library." He left the premises right after I talked to him, too, so I'm hoping that still counts as a warning. Actually, I hope he just doesn't come back, but who knows. Creepy old guys, stay home! I would never have guessed that that kind of visual trauma would be a part of my job.

A Word to the Wise

The very back part of your dryer gets really hot when you are drying clothes. If I had to estimate, I'd say it is about 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit, but it might be a bit hotter. Do not touch it for any reason, even if you suspect that that hideously annoying squeaking noise, which is making your ears feel like they have glass in them, could be coming from back there. Second degree burns may be "minor" if they are less than 3 inches big, but they still hurt like burning fire for hours upon hours. I know, only an idiot would touch hot metal, but we all know there are a lot of idiots out there. Not you or me, but, you know... out there.