10 Reasons You Might Think I'm Annoying

I liked Randy's idea, so I am stealing it....
10. I do not have cable television
9. I do not have the Internet
8. When you talk about cable television or the Internet, I will act like I know more about it than you do.
7. I own all 5 seasons of Monk and will talk about them incessantly.
6. I use the word "actually" way more than I should.
5. I will try to convince you to read some book you do not want to read.
4. I laugh uncomfortably when I'm nervous.
3. When trying to think of things to say, I will end up talking about work, and NO ONE is interested in my work.
2. If I am not talking about my work, I am always talking about my family, being raised Mormon, or places I used to live/work. I talk about these things to people who are in no way interested.
And the number 1 reason you might think I am annoying....
1. Despite all my claims to the contrary, I actually do always think I'm right.

Creepy

Y'all know that normally I don't say much bad about the LDS church, but I just got the creepiest letter in the mail. The envelope had my name, a bishop's name (I guess I should blame him, not the whole church, anyway), and in big letters ADDRESS CORRECTION REQUESTED DO NOT FORWARD RETURN TO SENDER. Seriously, that part was bigger than my name. Anyway, so, I'm like "Oh, I guess the Mormons found me. "I expect to find a xeroxed page from the Ensign, which is what I normally get.

Instead, I open the envelope and inside is a completely blank piece of paper. It's folded neatly into thirds and I have a hard time believing it is an accident. Wouldn't the person folding it notice that it doesn't have anything on it? But then, why wouldn't they just send out an empty envelope (if they're just trying to update their addresses)? Is this a test? Is there invisible ink on the paper? Are they trying to kill me? Is it a threat? All I know is that it is creepy.

MySpace

So, there are these boys who come into the library all the time to use the computers. They are loud and rude and we get a bunch of complaints about them. All they really care about is using MySpace. Now, I don't really care about whether they get on MySpace or not, but our Internet filters are supposed to block the site for kids under 18. And they are crazy devious in getting around it. They steal people's numbers and random stuff like that. Then, they figured out a way to get around it while still using their own cards.

Yesterday, after many complaints from patrons and staff, I confronted them about it. I say, "How do you get on MySpace." "A magic trick," they say. I say, "Well, no that doesn't really cut it, because you're breaking the rules." So, I'm getting all kinds of 'tude from them. When I say we're going to fix the problem, they're all like, "Go ahead, I'll still get around it." Which, is probably true.

Obviously, I have my own MySpace account, so I decide, later, to look up their MySpace accounts and see what they're doing that is so important they cannot seem to live without it. It was hilarious. There was chubby little Francisco, professing to be 30 years old and with a tag line like "I'm too sexy for all you b!tches." and a page covered with wrestling and with the DragonBallZ theme song playing in the background. There is Flavio, with a skull version of the comedy/drama masks, more proclamations of being sexy, and pronoucing his undying love for Jessica.

I really wish that I could go up to them and say, "Flavio... how's Jessica doing?" "Francisco, so tell me about your love of DragonBallZ." I think it would really teach them about the dangers of MySpace...

Random thoughts that occur to me in 5 minutes time

I keep on meaning to write a blog about all the exciting things going on in my life, but I never have time. So, I says to myself, I got a minute now... but I don't know if I have anything to say. Let's find out...

Work has been very stressful lately. We are going to be closed for renovations and I had to figure out how to schedule everyone around the closings. It sounds kinda lame when I put it like that. Just know... it was hard. Now, I'm mostly done with it, so I am much, much calmer.

On the random side of things, this lady came in today and asked for help finding books on obedience. I found her a list of books on temper tantrums and such stuff, but this is not what she wanted. "Have you ever heard of Sensory Perception Disorder?" she says. Then she wants me to find her books that are good for a kid with sensory perception disorder. She tells me how hard it is and how she has fibro-miralgia or whatever and she is very, very tired, and is not wearing makeup and how her life has changed so much. What do you say to something like this? "I am so sorry, the Berenstain Bear books are over here."

Also, now I think I have Sensory Perception Disorder. Look it up, my family members, you also have it. You thought your super smelling capacities were a gift... but really... you have neurological problems...

I like all my ellipses up there, it makes things seem sinister... or does it?

Okay, well I am out of time now. We will just call this the most boring blog in the history of the world. Tune in next week when I will write another boring blog about something inconsequential....