So, I think Christy wrote a post about this once, but, you know, I'm original like that.
A lady was talking to me today in the library. She was a very nice lady and she was talking about interesting things, but I felt super awkward. Some of the time my eyes were kind of glazing over as I thought about the awkwardness. She kept on touching my arm and thanking me. I thought, that's nice for her, she's a touchy person. Then, she tried to give me a hug. So, so weird. Nice lady, I am sorry that I had to treat you like a serial killer when you tried to give me a hug. That's just not the way I roll. Insert awkward laugh.
A lot of people do that casual arm touch. I've actually caught myself doing it with one of my sisters once of twice. I'm like, "Wow, where did that come from?" It doesn't make me feel less alien-like, though, because I don't think I quite pull it off. When people do it to me, I think I kind of wince.
It's not just touchy feely stuff that makes me an alien, either. There is this careful balance between saying what's on my mind or keeping it to myself. If I start thinking about it too much, soon I've overthought it, and it's too late to say anything, or it comes out really forced. But, if I don't think about it enough, I end up just blurting something out. "I like your pants," I say in a strangely overexhuberant voice, even as I realize that I do not, in fact, like those pants. I start talking in weird self-referential circles. Commenting on the words I'm using or making fun of the fact that I misspoke without actually finishing a single thought. I can feel that I'm losing the attention of the person I'm speaking to. They don't know what the heck I'm talking about. "What's with this girl?" they're thinking. It's not that I can't pick up on social cues as much as I can't follow along with them.
Some days I get an overload of alien situations. Then, I just want to go home and go back to bed, or take a shower and wash it all away. Alien situations create more alien situations, because people who feel like aliens act like aliens. You really need to start over fresh in order to break the cycle. Now, I know my fellow aliens will sympathize with this post. Everyone else will just think it's weird.
